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Chicago, AP
Rapper Grandmaster B was revealed to be a complete fraud after a tell-all interview by Rolling Stone Magazine.
Reporter Cameron Crowe, after a lengthy investigation, confronted the rapper in a tell-all interview following Dambuster B’s cancellation of his recent tour.
“It’s all true, I swear,” said Budrick Franklin Bundy, the real name of the infamous so-called rapper.
However, after confrontation by Crowe, he admitted his life of lies, deception, and having no real talent.
The first assertion was that the rapper was close friends with Anthrax, but lead singer Joey Balladona confirmed they only spent six months with him because of the CDC’s quarantine.
“First, we went over there because he (Bundy) won an MTV contest, and we were snowed in. Hungry, we ate what he called the “mystery meat,” which resulted in burning, hallucinations, and a CDC quarantine with Ed “Kookie” Burns,” said Balladona.
Then, there are the claims that Dreamcatcher B was a heavy womanizer. “I’ve had plenty of women because I know women like the back of my hand,” said Bundy.
However, after countless interviews, it was determined that Basscatcher B had only had three sexual partners. Two of them were former wives of his good friend and cousin, Jimmy. The third was with his father’s boss, Gary, which was done in exchange for favors.
“That’s not true. Women can’t wait to touch me – and frankly, I can’t wait to touch myself, either,” said Ass kisser B. He also faced charges at Trumaine University for a solo sexual encounter in the school’s library.
However, many former girlfriends denied ever having sex with Dustbuster B. Actually, many previous girlfriends have filed charges against him, mostly of being a peeping tom and sexual harasser.
The most vocal was Marcy Rhoades D’Arcy, a next-door neighbor. “I would never, never, never, never have sex with him,” she said while slamming the door.
Lackluster B actually denied a sexual encounter with Edna Hardaway, an administrator at Trumaine University. “I did things to him he didn’t know were possible,” she said while drooling over his tush. She is the President and only member of the Class disaster B’s fan club.
Probably the most revealing lie, though, was the death of Gaspasser B’s father, Al Bundy. “He’s not even my father,” said the rapper. However, several DNA tests confirm that not only are the two related, but his father sells shoes.
His compact discs have been pulled from the stores, and his downloads have been removed from ITunes. This is the final blow to the rapper’s career which had been halted by the Covid-19 that resulted in the suspension of his tour.
Plasterparis B almost got physical with Crowe and laced them with threats. “It’s Grandmaster B, you fool. I’m cool, I’m hip, I’m a rapper,” he said while throwing a fit.
Crowe mentioned the main witness and informant was an unnamed source, who only identified herself as Pumpkin.