Season 4 Episode 2: Dead Men Don’t Do Aerobics

Peggy wins two weeks of training with Jim Jupiter, a local aerobics instructor with his own television programme, and proceeds to kill him. Not deliberately: she simply introduces him to smoking, to eating the way she eats, and to the Bundy way of spending an afternoon, and his constitution is not equal to it. The episode is a straightforward demonstration of the series’ position that the Bundy lifestyle is lethal to anyone not raised in it.

What makes it funnier than it sounds is that Peggy is not corrupting him on purpose. She is being hospitable. Jupiter arrives in peak condition, is offered a cigarette and a sandwich, and the decline is gradual enough that nobody in the house notices anything is wrong until it is too late. The episode’s dedication card at the end, a tribute to “our brother the mighty cockroach” and an invitation to let him show the way, is the closing thesis.

Al supplies the episode’s best-known line, and the most notorious piece of editing in the series’ home-video history. Told that Peggy has won, he observes that she never asked his permission to marry him or to conceive his children, and declines to grant it now. The line was cut from the Sony DVD release, which used the syndicated prints from season four onward because of music licensing problems with “Love and Marriage,” and is one of a number of casualties of that decision.

Jim Jupiter’s logo uses an image of Saturn rather than Jupiter. His two on-screen companions are named Lola and Bunny, seven years before Space Jam combined them. Steve mentions playing the sousaphone in high school, and Marcy has won a Woman in Banking award.

Episode Facts

• Original air date: September 10, 1989
• Season 4, Episode 2, and the 59th episode of the series
• Written by Katherine Green
• Directed by Gerry Cohen

Guest Cast

• Tom Lahm as Jim Jupiter
• Michelle Smith as Bunny
• Kathryn Eickstaedt as Lola

Dedicated to the Mighty Cockroach

The closing card reads: “This show is dedicated to our brother the mighty cockroach. Let him show us the way.” No explanation is offered anywhere in the episode.

One line is missing from some releases. When Peg tells Al she has won, he responds with a remark about never having been asked his permission for the marriage or the children, and it was cut from the DVD edition, which used syndicated prints from season 4 onward because of music licensing.

A small piece of trivia with a long tail: Jupiter’s two on-air assistants are called Lola and Bunny, seven years before a character of that name turned up in Space Jam.

Famous Quotes

• Al: “Blood sugar level enough to kill three horses. Cholesterol level high enough to dam the mighty Mississippi. That’s writing!” Al, reviewing the obituary.
• Peg: “It’s my fault, Al. I did it. I killed the healthiest man in Chicago.” The confession.
• Al: “You’ve slowly been killing me and you don’t seem to care.” Peg: “Yeah, you’re different. You’ve been as good as dead for years.” The rebuttal.
• Peg: “Bend me, shape me, any way you want me!” Peg, meeting her trainer.

Notes

• The title plays on the film Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid.
• Jim Jupiter’s logo uses an image of Saturn rather than Jupiter.
• Bud and Kelly are both wearing the outfits they appear in during the season 4 opening credits.