Season 4 Episode 5: He Ain’t Much, But He’s Mine

Peggy becomes convinced that a new customer at the hair salon is having an affair with Al, and the jealousy takes a form nobody in the house recognises. She behaves oddly, watches him, and the episode runs on the gap between the suspicion and the reality, which is that Al has been covering a shift for a colleague and has no idea anything is happening.

The interesting thing about the episode is how the jealousy flatters him. Peggy’s distress is real, and it is predicated on the idea that her husband is capable of attracting someone, which the series had spent three years establishing he is not. Al, for his part, never works out what is going on and so never gets to enjoy it, which is the correct outcome.

The episode bookends itself neatly: it opens and closes with the two of them asleep in bed and Peggy throttling her husband from behind, which is as good a summary of the marriage as the series produced.

Several details get established on the record. Al mentions covering for a colleague named Jim Bower, which implies a third employee at Gary’s Shoes, and Steve, spying on Al, confirms a night shift around seven, while Al normally works mornings. Peggy states plainly that she knows Kelly is promiscuous and the sort of girl who takes other girls’ boyfriends, and that she has always been the other woman. Marcy’s threat to Steve, when she catches him lying, is to withhold melon balls, which season three established his mother left written instructions for. Someone in the studio audience can be heard calling “Yeah, Peggy!” as she prepares to cut the suspect’s hair.

Episode Facts

• Original air date: October 8, 1989
• Season 4, Episode 5, and the 62nd episode of the series
• Written by Lisa Rosenthal
• Directed by Gerry Cohen

Guest Cast

• Elizabeth Keifer as Ginger
• Vernee Watson-Johnson as Renee
• Kimmy Robertson as Molly
• Brenda Lilly as Sonya

Kelly as Technical Consultant

The couch scene is the best thing here, and it is worth watching for how fast it goes wrong. Bud makes a sincere case for his parents staying together, says the family is almost a family, and then both children immediately start arguing about which neighbourhood man Peg should leave Al for. Kelly has already assessed one of them for a Porsche, cable television and a weak heart.

Peg states outright that she knows exactly what her daughter is, and that Kelly has always been the other woman. It is said without any particular judgement, which somehow makes it worse.

A small continuity detail: Al mentions covering a shift for a colleague named Jim Bower, and Steve later confirms by surveillance that Al was working an evening rather than his usual morning. It is one of the few hints that Gary’s Shoes employs anyone besides Al.

Famous Quotes

• Bud: “We don’t want to see you and Dad break up. We’re almost like a family here.” Bud, making the case.
• Kelly: “I’ve been scoping out Mr. Fletcher, the dry cleaner. He’s got a Porsche, cable TV and a bad heart.” Kelly, making a different case.
• Bud: “Rudnick.” Kelly: “Fletcher.” Bud: “RUDNICK!” Kelly: “FLETCH-ER!” The children, settling it.
• Peg: “Your father and I love each other very much, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure we stay together.” Peg, over the top of them.

Notes

• Marcy’s threat to Steve is to withhold his melon balls, which ties back to the instructions his mother left in “He Thought He Could.”
• Kimmy Robertson later appeared with Christina Applegate in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.
• Goof: the boom mic is visible in the mirror during the salon scene, and the grandfather clock wobbles as Peg and Marcy walk past it.