Season 5 Episode 3: Sue Casa, His Casa

Bud passes his driving test, reports a ninety-eight per cent on the written paper, and then he and Kelly put the Dodge into the side of a Mercedes. The other driver sues for a million dollars. Al, who has declined to carry real insurance on the grounds that the car is worth less than a hundred dollars, has no defence and no cover, so the family does the only thing available to it and counter-sues for a jillion.

The case they assemble is the episode. Al delivers an opening statement describing his children as having been transporting canned goods to a church group, and cannot remember his daughter’s name while doing it. Peggy turns up in a neck brace despite not having been in the car, and explains her injury to the court in terms that have nothing to do with the accident and everything to do with her husband’s reaction to the prospect of a jillion dollars. Marcy takes the stand, admits she saw nothing, and states that the Mercedes must have been at fault on the grounds that her ex-husband drove one.

The judge is played by Dr. Joyce Brothers, who was by then one of the most recognisable psychologists in America, which gives the proceedings a layer of absurdity nothing in the script had to work for. Structurally this is a courtroom episode, which the show did a handful of times and always with the same approach: the Bundys do not defend themselves, they simply lie with total confidence and let the institution absorb it. Nobody in the family treats perjury as a meaningful concept. The joke is never that they get away with it, it is that they were always going to try.

Episode Facts

• Original air date: October 7, 1990
• Season 5, Episode 3, and the 83rd episode of the series
• Written by Kevin Curran
• Directed by Gerry Cohen

Guest Cast

• Dr. Joyce Brothers as Judge Muffy Carter
• Mark L. Taylor as Mr. Lincoln
• Rif Hutton as the bailiff

Jim’s Fish, Chips and Insurance

Al’s insurer is named on screen as Jim’s Fish, Chips and Insurance, which tells you everything about the level of cover.

The Dodge is valued twice in the episode. Al says under a hundred dollars; Peg checks the used car guide and reports seventy.

Peggy mentions in passing that the family once sued the Girl Scouts and lost.

Bud establishes here that he is sixteen.

Famous Quotes

• Al: “What can you do without?” Peggy: “Apparently an orgasm.” The household budget review.
• Al: “My beloved children, Bud, and, uh…” Al, mid-opening-statement, losing his daughter’s name.
• Judge: “Could you tell me why your wife is wearing a neck brace when she wasn’t involved in the accident?” Peg: “It’s sex whiplash. But it IS accident related.” Peg, under oath.
• Lawyer: “You didn’t really see who was at fault, did you?” Marcy: “No. But the Mercedes had to be. My ex-husband drove a Mercedes.” Marcy, testifying.

Notes

• Goof: the paper in the court reporter’s machine never advances, which makes it a prop rather than a stenotype.
• Goof: Al collects a baseball bat to go out and inspect the crash and then does not have it a moment later.