Season 8 Episode 9: NO MA’AM

The women get their own bowling night and the nudie bar is converted into a women’s coffeehouse, which leaves Al and his friends with nowhere to go and a grievance to organise around. They found NO MA’AM, the National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood, and this is its first appearance, four seasons before it faded out in season eleven’s “Live Nude Peg.”

Jerry Springer plays a version of himself, hosting a programme called The Masculine Feminist, which is the show that has caused all of this. In 1993 Springer was presenting a daytime talk show that had not yet become what it became, and the episode casts him as an earnest advocate rather than a ringmaster: he played himself again in Ringmaster five years later.

It is the only episode to feature the group’s Five Demands, read out formally, and the founding membership is larger than the one that stuck. Barney is the longest-serving of them, having been one of Al’s poker friends since the first season. Of the original roster only Jefferson and Bob Rooney became permanent fixtures; Barney and Roger appear once more, in “The Legend of Ironhead Haynes,” and then stop.

This is also the first officially credited appearance of Officer Dan, though Dan Tullis Jr. had been playing Chicago police officers on the series since season five, including the FBI agent pursuing Steve in “The Egg and I.” Lisa Boyle plays Bubbles Double Dee and came back in season ten as Kelly’s friend Fawn.

Episode Facts

• Original air date: November 14, 1993
• Season 8, Episode 9, and the 166th episode of the series
• The founding of NO MA’AM, and the only episode that lays out the Five Demands
• Written by Larry Jacobson
• Directed by Tony Singletary

Guest Cast

• Jerry Springer as himself
• E.E. Bell as Bob Rooney
• Dan Tullis Jr. as Officer Dan
• Steve Susskind as Barney
• Christopher Collins as Roger
• John Mariano as Pete
• Trip Hamilton as Jim
• Lisa Boyle as Bubbles Double Dee
• Harriet Leider as Velma
• Timothy Omundson as the bartender

Where NO MA’AM Comes From

Al and his friends lose Thursday bowling night to Women’s Bowling Night and find the Jiggly Room turned into a women’s coffee house, both down to Marcy and to Jerry Springer, whose local talk show The Masculine Feminist is required viewing for Peg and Marcy. Al phones the viewer line and Springer takes him apart on air.

So Al founds the National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood, and they take Springer’s own set, hostage and all, with an audience full of men in NO MA’AM shirts. They announce television’s first sexorcism and read out Five Demands. Then Marcy walks on, takes the microphone, and dismantles the argument, leaving Al with nothing but “YOU’RE A CHICKEN!” She has them all arrested.

Of the founders in this room, only Jefferson and Bob Rooney stuck. Barney and Roger appear once more, in “The Legend of Ironhead Haynes,” and Pete and Jim never again. Griff and Ike, who most people picture as NO MA’AM, are not here yet. Griff joins in A Man for No Seasons.

Famous Quotes

• Jerry Springer: “And where are you calling from, sir? 1952?” Al: “I wish. Ike was in the White House, women were in the kitchen, and you were in the closet.” The call that starts the war.
• Al: “Because… Because… YOU’RE A CHICKEN!” Al’s closing argument against Marcy.
• Al: “Well, believe you me, this outrage shall not go unavenged!” Bud, Kelly and Peggy: “Too late!” The family’s confidence in him.

Notes

• First officially credited appearance of Officer Dan. Dan Tullis Jr. had been playing Chicago police on the show since season 5, and an FBI agent in The Egg and I, but was not credited as Officer Dan until here.
• Springer plays a fictional version of himself. At the time his show was still a straight issues programme; it did not turn tabloid until 1994.
• Lisa Boyle came back later as Kelly’s friend Fawn. Timothy Omundson, the bartender, went on to a long television career.
• NO MA’AM’s headquarters is the Bundy garage, which Al had converted into his own hideout in If Al Had a Hammer.
• Aired during November sweeps, in a three episode run of celebrity guests alongside Joe Namath and Cheech Marin.
• Goof: Al’s “Ike was in the White House” is a year out, since Eisenhower was elected in November 1952 but took office in January 1953.
• Goof: when the tumbleweed rolls into the house, the head of the person throwing it is visible through the door frame.