Season 9 Episode 15: Kelly Takes a Shot

Kelly has lost a film role to Meryl Streep, which she does not consider a reasonable outcome, and her next opportunity requires archery. She is auditioning to be the Fryer Tuck girl, and the job comes down to a contest against another candidate. Bud agrees to coach her, not out of fraternal feeling but because Amber has made clear that she finds supportive brothers attractive, and the two plots run into each other from there. Meanwhile Al has a bird problem. Something has been chirping outside his bedroom window every night for a week, his shotgun is missing because Peg gave it away, and his eventual solution is to buy an owl costume and sit in the tree in the backyard to frighten the thing off. Kelly is practising archery in that same backyard. The collision is inevitable and the show takes its time getting there, and Al’s performance after it happens, crawling toward the back door with an arrow in him while continuing to make owl noises, is the best physical comedy of the season. His promise to Bud about how he will handle his daughter’s feelings is the line of the episode. The contest itself ends with Kelly declining to take the final shot, because the final shot involves an apple on her brother’s head.

The owl costume is Al’s half of the episode and it operates on its own logic entirely: birds are keeping him awake, so he acquires a predator suit and takes up a position in the yard. The archery plot gives Bud a reason to be useful and a reason that has nothing to do with his sister, since Amber is the audience he is actually performing for, and it builds to an apple shot that leaves him badly enough rattled to spend the back end of the episode in a onesie.

Episode Facts

• Original air date: January 15, 1995
• Season and episode: Season 9, Episode 15
• Overall episode number: 198
• Written by: Al Aidekman
• Directed by: Amanda Bearse
• Taped: January 6, 1995
• Production note: The onesie Bud ends up in is the same garment he wore as an infant in the 1974 flashback in season 7’s “Christmas.”
• Title note: A double meaning on taking a shot at something and on actually taking one.

Guest Cast

• Juliet Tablak as Amber
• Dion Anderson as Fryer Tuck
• Katherine Olsen as Beth
• Kevin Curran as the voice of Buck (uncredited)

The Owl in the Tree

Al’s bird grievance is the best-written thing in the episode because of how he states it. Peg accuses him of overreacting, and his defence is a precise accounting of the dispute: a bird has chirped on his side of the window every night for a week, and all he wants is to put six pounds of buckshot into a three-ounce body. Bud’s assessment of the family’s emotional range, delivered immediately afterward, is the better line.

The arrow sequence is paid off twice. First by the fall, and then by Al crawling toward the house still in character as an owl, and then a third time by his response when Bud asks him to be encouraging about Kelly’s progress. His offer to keep the bleeding internal is the sort of line that only works after nine years of establishing that he will.

Bud’s motivation is the engine of the plot and the show is honest about it. He has no interest in his sister’s self-esteem. Amber has told him that a caring brother would build it, and the entire coaching arrangement exists because of a conversation about sex that Bud reveals took three minutes over a month ago.

The ending gives Kelly a genuine moment. Faced with a shot that could hurt her brother, she puts the bow down, withdraws from the contest, and says she is proud enough just to be his sister. Bud’s silent prayer of thanks is the right reaction and the show lets both things be true at once.

Famous Quotes

• Kelly, on losing the part: “They gave it to somebody else.” Amber: “Who?” Kelly: “Meryl Streep. Now, come on, what does she have that I don’t have?” Bud: “You mean, besides the Oscars, the fame and the command of the English language?”
• Bud, narrowing it down: “Well, it begins with a ‘T’.” Kelly: “Tssh, I got those.” Bud: “‘Talent’, Gump.”
• Peg: “Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a little?!” Al: “Some bird chirps on my side of the window every night for a week. And just because I want to pump 6 pounds of buckshot into its 3-ounce body, I’m overreacting?!”
• Bud, moments after claiming to come from a long line of sensitive Bundy men: “I said we were sensitive, not sane.”
• Bud, over his father’s bleeding: “Before you get mad, just please try to encourage her. She’s just learning.” Al: “Fine. I’ll keep the bleeding internal.”
• Kelly, putting the bow down: “I don’t need to be the Fryer Tuck girl. I’m just proud enough to be that horndog’s sister.”

Notes

• Peg reveals she gave Al’s shotgun away to a postal worker.
• Jefferson mentions having taken up birdwatching in college, which the episode leaves open to interpretation.
• The William Tell Overture scores the archery contest, which the series had also used for Bud’s hotel ordeal in season 8’s “Valentine’s Day Massacre.”
• A goof: the apple on Bud’s head is visibly a different apple in the close-up than in the wide shot.