Traci Lords Married with Children

Another fine Bundy Club, David, Darren, Dan and all the rest.

My favorite lines in Tooth or Consequences:

I love the exchange at the beginning:

Al: “Kids, I’m glad you’re here. We’re going to take a poll.”

Kelly: “Where are we going to get a pole?”

Bud: “We can put in your head and hang the sign that says, ‘duh.’”

Kelly: “Oh great. You won’t let me get a nose earring but you want to put a pole in my head?”

Al [to Peg] Peg, are you sure you didn’t have a one-night stand with Abbot and Costello?

Peg: “I’m a one-stooge woman.”

Al: “Now, we’re going to take a vote.”

Kelly: “I thought we were going to take a pole” [Al covers her mouth]

In Al Bundy, Shoe Dick,

Traci: “I’m going away for 20 years. Will you wait for me?”

Al: “What for? You’ll be old.”